Confession

I, Tara Michelle, confess I am a Dr. Phil addict. Yes that is right. I watch Dr. Phil everyday and I am proud. I got hooked!! I don't know how it happened but it did. So to make my addiction completed I have officially joined his website fan club. :-)

National Pamper Tara Day

Every now and then a holiday comes along that I can really get into. Today happened to be one of them. Today was a day that I have longed for. I got up and took Bubba over to his babysitters Jayme's house. Told her if she needed me give me a call on my cellphone she said no problem and to have a nice day to myself and that is exactly what I did.

At 11:30 am I did something I haven't done since September of 2003. Yes 2003!!!! I went and got my haircut. For those of you who have known me forever know that I am not one to wait 3 months to get my haircut let alone almost 17 months!! I sat in the chair and took off my glasses and hoped for the best. Praying for not another David Cassidy (bad haircut 1992) I was nervous about going to someone other than Mary who I have gone to forever but I thought it would be extreme to drive 1 hour each way for my haircut! So Susan and I discussed my face and head size...She was kind and said my face, neck and head are petite (or as Jeff would say "Babe, you have a small ass head") She said I had way to much hair for my features. So I figured I would go with it...I mean she is a beauty school graduate...Unlike me who is a beauty school drop out (yes yes go on and sing the song). Well wouldn't ya know it...she did a great job. I really like my hair now. She cut of more than 5 1/2 inches off. Most people didn't even know my hair was as long as it was because I always wore it up. So now I have pretty layered shoulder length (but not David Cassidy layered) hair.

After my haircut I do what I always do go to the local drug store and buy some nice smelling shampoo. Unfortunately, I live in The Sticks so this required a 25 minute each way trip.

Then at 2:00 pm I went and got my nails done. Which I haven't had done since July of 2003. I really like Barbara she did an awesome job (then again she graduated). We kept my natural nails only 3 have extensions to them. My thumbs and one pointer finger. The rest are gelled and they all have a pretty French manicure to them.

Then when I completed my missions I came to the house and played with Nico (she needed some love today) and then hopped in the car to go get my Bubba (who I missed terribly all day). Of course I was so happy and excited to get him. I know he has a good time with Jayme because he always falls asleep as soon as we get in the car. He is exhausted from all the playing he does. I gave him whole bunches of kisses and I know if he could talk he would have told me to cut it out I was embarrassing him.

For the first time in a vvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy long time I feel pretty. I feel girlie!! I love being a wife and a mommy but sometimes it's nice to just feel like Tara.

Now some have asked if there was any special reason for National Pamper Tara Day and well DUH of course there is...I have a hot date with my Husband on Monday!! Bubba will be spending a few hours with Jayme while we spend a little time just the two of us (very needed). Then the three of us will go out to a nice dinner and spend time as a family because no matter how much pamper time and hubby and me time I have the next few days the happiest I am is when the three of us are together.

Physical

So tomorrow I go for my physical for the back-up job. I am feeling very nervous about it for some reason. It's not like I am knocking on deaths door and I am going to fail but I hate the thought of being poked and probed. Other than getting my hand checked I have avoided all doctor contact since I had Bubba. Now some people would say maybe it's time....but I never feel it is time to volunteer myself to be poked and probed. You only go to the Doctor if you have absolutely no choice (unless your Bubba then you go everytime Mommy says so...because she is your Mommy and thats that). I guess the thing that I hate the most is getting on that damn scale. Now most of you are probably getting a good chuckle about me Stick Girl living in The Sticks being afraid of the scale. But let me tell you it sucks. People automatically assume that I have an issue with my weight. I don't....weight strike that I do. I am to thin. I wish I had more curves or something. I wish I didn't have to go crazy when it comes to buying pants because what fits the waist doesn't fit the length. But anyway back to the famous words I will hear tomorrow "HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN THIS THIN?" Of course I will give my well rehearsed answer "I have been like this all my life." The person will smile at me and turn the other way and think one of two things B*tch or Yeh she is full of s**t she starves herself. Then they will proceed to tell me about all the great things I should eat to fatten myself up. Well I eat all that crap and some. So I will smile and shake my head up and down and in my head secretly think about the Double Whopper w/cheese, onion rings and king sized Dr Pepper I will pick up on the way home.

A Few Moments

So I have a few moments to myself. I am waiting for my pictures to finish uploading on Ofoto. Nico is being so kind to keep me company in this tiny little chair. Please don't bother to ask how she is doing with potty training because I would rather just not talk about it. She has been free in the house for an hour and hasn't peed on the floor yet and sad to say but that is a record for her.

Bubba is resting. He has not had an easy week. Two trips to the Doctor this week. One for vomitting and one for a fever of 103 and head cold. He is feeling better today but still is tired. He got his first cold from the Big DC. He had me so nervous with his fever on Thursday. We have found a new doctor up here and she is great. They tested him for the flu and that came back negative and they did a tinkle sample (I will spare you the details on that one) and that came back negative too. So all in all he is healthy just has a bad cold aaannnnddd a BRAND NEW TOOTH!! Yup he has three in a row now. So no wonder why his misery level was so high. He could and a tooth all in the same day.

I had to stay home with him on Friday so we will see if I still have a job come Monday morning. I am not overly concerned because if I want I could start with Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield come February 25. Great big corporate company to work for with lots a benefits and perks. SSSOOO I am not worried. My Bubba needed me the other day and that was much more important that a job with overpaid snotty doctors. Don't get me wrong the office staff is great but the doctors well I hate to break it to them but they are doctors up here in the sticks not in Manhatten.

That is the extent of my news....I fear I must go now Nico is eating something that was in my to be file pile...I guess one less thing to file.

MARIO PARTY 5

I don't know if I ever told you but Jeff and I are horrible game players. (ask him about Monopoly next chance you get) We will not be the ones to tell Bubba sportsman ship. We have Mario Party 5 and in Party mode you can play on teams. Well the two of us argue about where we are going to go on the map and what not to do. Jeff feels it is a conspiracy that the CPU players always get higher rolls than us and that they get easier breaks than we do. I on the other hand play for fun yet I am slightly controlling when it comes to where I want to go on the map. Jeff plays to win...to the death. I play to go around in circles and play mini-games along the way.

I suggest to everyone to get this game!! It will make a quiet boring night into a night that you will remember. :-)

Started my new job...quit it...starting new one Monday

Ok....so I started working for Orange County Choppers this past Monday...and I quit on Thursday. But let me splain...they are very disorganized. They are just starting to take over their own distribution of their merchandise..shirts, hats, mints, cologne...ect. They don't really have their act together with it yet. I was orginally hired for 9-5 but working the three late nights until I was trained. It was then brought to my attention on Wednesday that I would stay on 12-8. I knew that it would take to much of a toll on my family. So it just was not possible. So I did what anyone would do...I explained it wouldn't work and thanked them. Bubba also wound up getting really sick that day at day care so I packed it in at 12:30. I spoke to my boss the next day and they really want me to stay but they understand that it would not work for me and the guys. They are going to keep me in mind for any future openings. Which is cool!

To answer the questions...Yes I met Paul Sr., Paul Jr, Mikey and Vinnie. My direct boss was Whitney who happens to be Paul Jr's other half. They are very nice people nothing like you see on TV and they are even on the geeky side.

So...we had some snow and ice (go figure) on Thursday and Jeff stayed home. I went on a job interview and was hired by a huge doctor office up here. Do what I do best...Medical Office work. I start on Monday making more money, better benefits and things like that. It is a big girl job and I am really looking forward to it.

Bubba is doing great...he sleeps on the lowest level of his crib these days. He can also pull himself up into the standing position. He does it with his baby gate. Its pretty funny to see my lil Bubba acting like such a big boy. He seems to be really enjoying THE BIG DC. He really likes his teacher Arlene. He gives her a big two tooth smile in the morning. Of course I will admit I cried so hard when I left him and he was just smitten with Arlene...maybe it was because she had his oatmeal ready for him. He is getting big fast and I am loving every minute of it.

Jeff is doing great. He has been very supportive of me and going back to work. He working on a huge project in the tv room which involved knocking out half of the wall. Most wives would be slightly concerned when their husband knocks out half the wall but I have much faith in his skills. He is building an in-wall CD & DVD shelving unit. It will be awesome when he is done no doubt.

Went on the 3-wheeler today. Have to at least make some fun out of this freakin blizzard (see earlier post from today). I am not a snow person or even a person who enjoys weather under 75 degrees so it is currently -1 with the wind chill it is something like -25. So I am going to go amuse myself with watching one of the greatest movies ever Joe Vs The Volcano and have a chocolate shake. Talk to you all soon!!

I am so sick of this S**T!!!!!!

Our Freakin snowblower better work!!!

WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECTUNTIL NOON SUNDAYUrgent - Winter Weather Message National Weather Service Binghamton NY 346 AM EST Sat Jan 22 2005 1700- Lackawanna PA-Luzerne PA-Pike PA-Southern Wayne PA-Sullivan NY- Wyoming PA- ... Winter Storm Warning In Effect Until Noon Sunday... The National Weather Service In Binghamton NY Continues The Winter Storm Warning. Snow Will Spread Across The Region On Late This Morning And Early This Afternoon. The Snow Will Fall Heavily At Times Later Today And Tonight... Before Gradually Tapering Off Early On Sunday Morning. Storm Total Accumulations Of 14 To 20 Inches Are Expected. North To Northeast Winds Will Increase To 15 To 25 Mph Tonight, Producing Areas Of Blowing Snow And White-Out Conditions. Wind Chills Around 10 Below Are Also Anticipated. This Is A Very Dangerous Winter Storm. Near Blizzard Conditions Are Expected As Heavy Snow Combines With Strong Winds To Produce Near Zero Visibilities And Considerable Blowing And Drifting Snow. Roads Will Be Snow Covered And Treacherous... And Travel Is Strongly Discouraged.

I am now a working mom

So today was my big interview day. I am going to be working in the customer service department at the Orange County Chopper Distribution Center. I had a quick no nonsense interview with Whitney and I am very excited about the position. Everyone in my department is young and some have little ones too so I am hoping to make some friends. I start on Monday so this is my last week of no make-up and wearing Jeff jammie pants all day. Even though I can wear jeans and t-shirts to work I don't think flannel pants are on the dress code list. I think this is going to be good in so many ways.

Bubba will meet people too and hopefully not have a real hard time getting adjusted. I have decided to take 12 to 8 three days a week and 9 - 5 two days a week. This way Bubba only has 2 8 hour days the three days that I work late I will be receiving extra training so that I can get my probation period over with sooner and make a little more money. Bubba will on be there for 5 hours on my 12 - 8 days because his Daddy will pick him up on his way home from work. Bubba is at the point where he and his Daddy do just fine together. So I am not worried about that. Then come summer I will be 9 - 5 everyday but Bubba will also be 1 by then and totally adjusted to the world of Day Care (code name Big DC).

Well off to bed for me...I have to dig out the FC tomorrow since we got 6 billion feet of snow today...ok maybe 6 inches so far but it is still going and that is 6 inches on top of the other s**t that fell the other day.

More White S**T!!!

This freakin sucks!!!

ALERT 1 - Winter Weather AdvisoryWINTER WEATHER ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL NOON WEDNESDAYIssue Time: 10:41AM EST, Tuesday Jan 11, 2005Valid Until: 5:14PM EST, Tuesday Jan 11, 2005 WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECTUNTIL NOON WEDNESDAY Urgent - Winter Weather Message National Weather Service Binghamton NY 1016 AM EST Tue Jan 11 2005 2214- Sullivan NY-Winter Weather Advisory Remains In Effect Until Noon Wednesday... Snow Will Continue Into Early Evening And Fall Heavy At Times Through Mid Afternoon. Snow Accumulations Of 2 To 5 Inches Is Likely. The Snow Will Mix With Sleet And Freezing Rain This Evening... Then Change To All Freezing Rain Late Tonight And Continue Into Wednesday Morning. An Additional Snow Accumulation Of 1 To 2 Inches Is Likely With One To Two Tenths Of An Inch Of Ice Accumulation Possible. Any Lingering Precipitation Is Expected To Change To Rain Showers During The Day Wednesday. If You Plan Travel In The Advisory Area... Slow Down And Allow For Plenty Of Extra Time To Reach Your Destination.

I hurt my what?

You hurt your Extensor Pollicis Brevis tendons.....ok so what does that mean? It means I have a majorly sore thumb. No it means I have tendonitis in the thumb region of my hand and I also have a loose tendon. You have two tendons in your hand (see picture http://www.eatonhand.com/mus/mus023.htm) I have injured them somehow way back in the month of July or August and should of had it fixed then but instead I waited and now I have to have all sorts of pictures taken of my hand tomorrow. I will let you know what the final verdict is. I may never be able to hitchhike again.

Bubba had his check up today. Everything went well he didn't even cry when he got his shots. He isn't putting on as much weight as they would like so we are going back in 4 weeks. We are going to cut back on juice and have a little more formula. He has been nursing but we want to get that calorie intake up. So some good old fashioned formula will help with that. At six months is when the genes start to kick in. So it could be he will have his mommy's skinny build. But just to be on the safe side I am going to stuff his face with loads of fattening foods. He had his first biter biscuit tonight. He seemed to really enjoy since as soon as his Daddy walked in the room he held up his arm to show him what he had. I have to say that this Doctor was a little on the harsh side to say the least so we are going to give her the follow-up visit second chance....if not we are not going back there. A lot of people recommended this place but I guess either she was having a bad day or she was just plain evil. I am leaning towards evil but I am willing to be proven wrong. (Of course we all know I am never wrong)

Busy Week.....

Well this is going to be a busy week. Bubba and I are going to have lots to do for a change.

Monday I have an appointment at 9 am with my Dr. to get my hand checked. Still bugging me. I guess after 6 months of pain, cramping and numbness I should finally get it checked. Also Bubba is getting heavier and in the morning it is getting even harder to lift him out of the crib with the hand pains. I will also be checking out a job position they have open in there. At 2:30 it is off to the Dr. for Bubba...his favorite shot time. I will be getting his weight out to everyone tomorrow. I am sure he is up to a huge 6 billion tons by now. OH on the way to his Dr we are stopping at Home Depot to pick up the paint for the bathroom. ***See Thurday***

Tuesday I am going for a very cool job interview at 11:00 ...can't tell you where cause it's a secret for now. But if I get this job it will be very cool. Then Bubba and I are off to the bank, dmv, and social security. We are also going back up to the day care center to spend a little time. (if to busy on Tuesday we will go on Wednesday)

Wednesday we have to go food shopping and if I get the job that I interview for on Tuesday I might have to get a couple of pants and tops. Believe it or not I am not going to be able to stay in Jeffs jammies when I go to work. So I might actually have to have my own clothes.

Thursday I TARA MICHELLE AM PAINTING THE BATHROOM!!! Yes that is right I am going to have a paintbrush and a roller and I am going to make the bathroom look great. Of course I couldn't make it look worse cause the previous owners were worse painters than me so I can only improve the situation.

Friday...hhhhmmm Friday I am going to try and get Nico to the vet. Also go to try and make it down to see U Bob.

Then for the weekend Bubba and I are going to kick back and drink some apple juice while we watch Elmo or Lilo & Stitch.

That might not seem like a busy week to some but it for us. The weather is supposed to be alright for most of the week so I am going to try to be out a about because after the last couple of days I have no desire to be locked up in the blueberry anymore. (The blueberry is my nickname for our blue house)

I saw I had bunches of emails to go through in my inbox. I must admit I haven't checked most of my emails the past few weeks so I promise to write everyone back this week. I have found my blog to be a great help because it gives me the opportunity to tell everyone what has been going on when I don't have the time to check my email. Things are going to start to settle and calm down now I hope so I should be able to chit chat to everyone more often.

Good Night! Sleep Tight!! Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite!!

P.S. Ofoto pictures due out sometime Monday!

Live from The Sticks it's Saturday Night....

It's Saturday night and for the first time in a very long time (months before Bubba was born) I actually painted my fingers and my toes and even watched a chick flick. I haven't done this in forever. Jeff is downstairs with Scott watching the JETS game. Bubba is off dreaming about apple juice. My nails are a special limited edition sparkly red by revelon and I watched The Terminal.

I have seem to have forgotten to give myself that every now and then much need me time. I have felt a little ok a lot BLAH lately. BLAH is such a horrible feeling. Nobody should ever feel BLAH! I have no real time to myself once Bubba is in bed then I spend sometime with Jeff and it's bedtime for us.

I have been looking for a job lately. I think it's going to be a good thing for everyone. Bubba will go to daycare...we have one that is the daycare right by the house. They offer all sorts of activities for Bubba and have a state of the art facility and wonderful staff. I think Bubba needs to see more faces. He needs to learn to interact a little bit more. He will make friends which in turn might help Jeff & I make friends up here. Jeff and I worry about the Union layoffs and if I have a semi good paying job it won't be so stressful if a layoff happens. I also think it will be good for me because I will get out of the house and start meeting people in the area. It gets lonely up here sometimes. The only people I know really are my neighbors. Jeff and I don't know anyone that is our age. So we are going to try this. IF it doesn't work it doesn't work. Bubba comes first so if he says this is a no go...then it's a no go. But I think he will really like the place where he will go. I personally won't mind spending my days there.

Well I am going to go get into my jammies and then red my book I am reading Night Fall. Night Fall is about TWA Flight 800 very interesting view of the event. Good Night!! Sweet Dreams to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****NOTE****

Yes, I changed the page look and title. I thought is should be a little more exciting looking...what do you think?

Happy 2005!!

Well it's here...another year. Of course it will be a good one! When you look back they usually are. You think how it could always be worse or how things weren't really that bad now that you think about it. So I have my mind set that this is going to be a good one.

Yesterday we buried Danny. How amazing it was to see so many people there to honor him. There was not an empty seat in the church and many people stood along the walls. I saw Harry, Joan, Kristen and Ryan for the first time in many years but it didn't seem like that long ago. Harry's hair is whiter these days but he looked just like I remembered. His friends spoke of him and what a free spirit he was. He did things that he loved. Worked on computers, snowboarded, went to Phish shows and touched so many. I think they paid a wonderful tribute to him. I have to admit it really didn't feel real until they were taking him out of the church and the Priest was saying the final prayer. It really dawned on me at that moment that he is forever gone. He may no longer be here as a person but he will live through all the people that he has touched during his 29 years. For me when I am at a funeral I am there to honor the loved one lost but I also remember all my other loved ones I have lost. They all seem to accumulate. They get harder everytime. Of course it does not help when you are a super emotional person like myself.

Bubba brought a much needed smile to many faces yesterday. He was as good as could be. I was amazed that he didn't make a peep in the church and didn't make one at the burial. It was almost like he knew he needed to be good. I promise to bring him to the Boardwalk this summer and we will visit Harry & Joan and take him on the Merry-Go-Round. (candy apples all around)

On a postive note U Bob will be coming home from the hospital for a few weeks. He needs to be able to put weight on his leg before he can go to Kessler. We are very excited about that. Bubba wants to go visit so badly. He likes going to see people and make them smile. He especially likes his God Bob. U Bob will be his Godfather once we get this whole Christening thing worked out.

He might even show off his new skill.....the CRAWL!! Yup he can do it. He isn't fast yet but he gets to where he needs to go. Jeff and I got him going last night with a little help. We put his bottle out of reach and as we all know nothing gets in his way of him and his juice. So I figure in about another week I will be screwed and I will want to move to a single level home with no plugs and no wires anywhere. :-)

Well that is all for now...I wish everyone a Happy New Year. I am looking forward to what this year has to offer. :-)

What is up with the white S**t???

Urgent - Winter Weather Message National Weather Service Binghamton NY 214 AM EST Wed Jan 5 2005 Snow Will Increase Late This Morning And Continue Through The Day. Despite A Potential Lull In The Snowfall Midday... Snow Will Increase Again During The Afternoon. A Widespread 2 To 4 Inches Of Snow Can Be Expected By Early Evening. Snow Will Continue Heavy At Times Overnight. An Additional 5 To 8 Inches Of Snow Can Be Expected. The Snow May Begin To Mix With Sleet By Sunrise. Mixed Precipitation Is Likely To Continue Thursday Morning... With A Potential For A Period Of Freezing Rain... Before The Precipitation Changes Over To Rain For The Afternoon. Total Snowfall Accumulation Will Range From 8 To 14 Inches. A Winter Storm Warning Is In Effect Because Heavy Snow Is Expected In The Warning Area. Roads Will Be Snow Covered And Slippery With Poor Visibility. Travel Is Discouraged, Unless It Is An Emergency. If You Must Travel In The Warning Area, Use Extreme Caution. Yeh like I feel like going outside!!

Danny Clune

I know that I said my last post was it for the year but this morning I received an email from my cousin Joan. She is Danny's mother. They have positivly identified the body that they found in Lake Pend Oreille. It is the body of Danny. I cannot imagine the pain they are all feeling at this moment. Nor would I pretend to understand that type of grief. I think even though they were almost positive it was him before the medical examiner said it was there were people who still held onto the slightest bit of hope. I know my sister and I did and I am sure other people did as well. We understood the body was found and was most likely Danny but there was a thought in the back of the mind that said maybe it was someone else.

I will forever have the memories of Aunt Kay's house down the shore where we would play pool upstairs (I didn't know until I was 21 that you actually have to hit the ball with the stick you don't roll it), playing cruise ship, and going to the boardwalk, hearing Aunt Kay and Uncle Red talk about his dancing and how he played hockey, and I will always remember the picture of him as a baby that GG kept up on her shelf. It is hard to believe that it was so many years ago that we were playing all of us together Kelly, Danny, Kristen, Ryan, Eric, Laurie and myself. When we were all together at Aunt Kay's her house was filled with squeals and giggles...if it was quiet you knew we were all up to something. It feels like it was only yesterday. It makes you stop and think about how fast life goes by.

I know Danny is in good loving hands with GG, Lil Pop-pop, Aunt Kay, Uncle Red, Uncle Harry and so many other wonderful people who we know that have passed. I hope that over time the pain that his parents, sister and brother feel will ease. I hope that they will be able to look back someday and smile at a memory of Danny. His life was so much more that the last 2 months that were so painful for them. I will always cherish the memories I have and always wish that I had more.

Saying Good-Bye to 2004

It is that time...it is time to say good-bye to 2004. It has been a year that has forever changed my life. It had it's highs, lows, joys, tears and everything in between.

January started off on a bad foot. It was a trying month but it was also a month that helped shape Jeff and I to where we are now in our lives. It was a month that had an instant reality check and made me realize that I love him more than I would ever love anybody else. He is my soulmate....oddly enough it took an accident to really make me realize and believe it.

February was a much more exciting month. Dale Jr. won the Daytona 500. We started to get ready for our little Bubba to be born. We picked out his name one night while we were chit chatting in "The Bank". We decided on Kody with a K because we wanted our little boy to have a cool unique name. We also like it because we came up with the nickname "KODMAN". Shannon his middle name came from a musician who is one of Jeff's musical inspirations. So Kody Shannon it was. But then a week later after Mom M. took us shopping for his bedding did we know for sure we were having a boy. (thank goodness otherwise our we would of had a truck theme for a girl) We went to the hospital and just watched him on the ultrasound and I was just in awe of my lil Bubba. Jeff just smiles and took it all in. He could see the ultrasound better cause I had to watch it on the TV screen and he plopped himself next to the tech and watched it with her and he even saw it when Bubba stuck out his tongue. So Febraury was an awesome month.

March we celebrated Jeff's b-day (lol the last one he will have in his 20's). Our parents met for the first time. And by the end of the month I was done working. It was time for me to start going to babies'r'us and buy buy baby 100 times a week to make sure I was getting all of the goodies we needed.

April came what a busy month it was. We started to come upstate more often and Jeff started to look at houses up here. We also did a very tramatic thing...we got a FC. For those of you who don't know what a FC is...well it is a four-door Chevy Impala otherwise known as the FAMILY CAR. I would laugh all the time when I first started to drive it. It was a very different experience. First of all I wasn't sitting on the ground when I drove anymore and also it felt like I was suddenly an adult which till this day I laugh at that idea.

May was an awesome month. It started off with a bang literally!! I got into an accident with the FC. We won't go into details because my blood pressure will go up and I will say all sorts of bad words. At least I spent the morning in the hospital listening to my lil Bubba have the hiccups and felt my first contractions. May 14th was a wonderful night!! My Jeffrey decided to come visit me while I was playing on the computer upstairs because he wanted to talk. He was saying all sorts of nice things and telling me he loves me and the he said something that I will always remember "Baby, will you marry me?" Of course I said yes. We had been talking about our wedding for months but he never said those words . I got tingles and my heart raced when he said those words. That is probably in my top 5 for happiest moments in my life.

The month of June was the month I was beyond uncomfortable and just a miserable human being to be around. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen my feet and for the first time in my life I was actually sweating. June 8th was an ordinary Tuesday. Took Jeff to work, went to the doctor and came home. Dr. Cohen said I was till only 2 cm but since I was due that Saturday he had a feeling I would have Bubba over the weekend. He promised me that this was my last weekly visit. So I called Jeff at work to tell him I was going home to take a shower and I would see him later. Yeh I saw him later alright about an hour later I was back at Chilton because my water broke. I remember Dr Cohen saying "I told you you wouldn't have to come see me next Tuesday" I was like "Yeh but you didn't tell me you were going to see me in an hour". At 9:36 pm Jeff and I welcomed our beautiful little Bubba into this world. That was one of those moments that is forever etched in my mind. To see tears of joys on Jeff's face and my beautiful little boy face to face was a moment I can not describe. June was a month to remember.

July...wow ok....I went 31 days without sleeping. I learned that poop comes in many colors and does not care what time. I was learning to be a mommy and Jeff was learning to be a daddy. It was a stressful month because we were getting ready to move and we were trying to adjust to all our changes. But we enjoyed the 4th with my Mom, Kelly, Tony and Cole. My big sister has been a great help to me with Mommyhood!! She is 8 months ahead of me so she fills me in on what I am in store for.

August we moved into our house and our little family started to run smoothly. Bubba got his own room and even by the end of the month started sleeping in his crib. Jeff would come home from work and hop on the lawn mower and cut the grass and I would cook dinner. All of the sudden we started to really get into our family form.

September was a quiet month from what I can remember. Or maybe it was tramatic and I just blocked that month from my mind.

October was a great month. We ran away to Niagara Falls and got married right next the Falls. We had an awesome time the 3 of us. We had a great time up there and surprisingly enough not one of us took a barrel ride. I also turned the big 28. I had a great birthday because for the first time since June 8th Jeff and I had dinner in public just the 2 of us. Mom kindly watched Bubba and I had dinner with my hubby. He made me laugh so hard that night (he knows what he did) that I was crying at the table. Halloween came and it was nothing like I had ever seen we had millions of tricker treators up here so I have made my mental notes and next year much more candy will be needed.

November was a bitter sweet month. My Cousin went missing in the beginning of the month. Although most of us didn't know until later it was a harsh blow. We adopted a beast....I mean a boxer puppy named Nico. My kitty Milla moved to the farm with Ray. I tried my hardest to make her a nice kitty but it just wouldn't happen. Nico has brought us joy. Lets just hope by this time next year I will finally have her potty trained.

December has had its ups and downs. My U. Bob got badly hurt when he was hit by a car working. I haven't been able to see him yet but I bother Mom almost everyday to find out how he is. Don't tell anyone but he is one of my favorites and it makes me sad that he won't me home for Christmas. We will just have to have another Christmas when he comes home!! :-) Sadly, we learned this month that they believe that have found Danny and his story doesn't seem to have ended positively. Our thoughts a prayers are with his Mom, Dad, sister and brother during this time.

Christmas is this weekend and I am sure to be busy the next couple of days. So this is probably my last post for the year. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Talk to you all in 2005!!

A weird observation!!

I noticed today in a rare quiet moment that I don't think our garbage men like us. I notice how nicely they put back everyones cans and what not and how they throw ours clear across the yard. I am wondering if this has anything to do with the Nico poop and Bubba poop? I guess if that is the reason I can't really blame them because my little Bubba can be a stinker and Nico...well she fits in quiet well with Jeff and Bubba on a Sunday afternoon stinking up the basement. HHHHMMMMM.........Maybe I should put airfreshners in the cans?

My Sister Kelly is the bestest!!

My sister Kelly made me the ultimate Christmas gift. She digitally remastered our old home movies from when we were kids. She did the most amazing job. Of course I have watched it 4 times since I got it yesterday and laughed and cried everytime. I laugh at the fun things that we did as kids. I cry and the people who I loved so much that are now gone. I miss them everyday.

I was a brave lil one. I showed no fear on the slide or on the teeter totter. Of course what did I have to fear I had my big sister with me. She would never let me get hurt. My sister and I have grown up now. But it is still the same. She is my big sister and when I need someone to have my back or need some advice she is always there. She never called me Mickey like everyone else...I have always been Kid or The Skinny Kid to her.

For awhile we were on totally different pages in life. Mine not the best page to be on but my big sister was still there. Now we have a huge page in common...we are both Moms. I have to laugh cause when I watch these movies who could have imagined we would grow up and be moms someday. We talk almost everyday and we compare notes and she gives me heads up on what I am in store for with Bubba. I never in a million years thought I would call my sister to tell her about poop and the fact Bubba likes to blow special bubbles in the tubby so he can have a hot tub effect but I do. We talk almost everyday and talk about all sorts of stuff. It is one on my favorite times of the day. I look forward to every phone call.

I love my big sister (even though I say it often enough to her). She is so much she is a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Grandaughter, Aunt, Niece, Sister-in-law, Cousin, Business Owner, Friend, Voice of reason and my favorite a Big Sister.

Oh the weather outside...

Well it is officially winter up here. I look at the weather forcast and it says 40% snow for everyday for the next seven days. It's 23 degrees right now and it is supposed to get into the teens tonight. So I am going to start to become home bound more than usual. As we all know I hate driving in the snow and I hate going outside in the cold so I am thinking that I might go outside again maybe by next June. :-)

Thank you to everyone for calling and asking how Uncle Bob is doing. He is doing well. We are going to go visit him in the hospital this weekend. Jeff, Kody & I are going to stop by on Saturday to pester him for a little bit. Kelly, Tony & Cole are also going to be pestering him. But I am sure he will be much happier when he sees Kevin & Ob stop by. For those of you who don't know U. Bob was hit by a car last Friday while he was working. He has an extremely broken leg. I figure it is time to go see him since I hear he is busting chops. If he is busting chops he must be feeling better. :-)

Bubba is doing great. He drinks juice now. Out of the bottle and he even puts the bottle in his mouth on his own. Of course he sucks the thing dry and then crys for more! I have a juice-a-holic. I limit his juice and water it down as much as possible. But it don't matter he wants more!!!

Nico...well Nico is Nico. She is getting better with the potty training. We don't have accidents during the day anymore...just at night time. (No comments from the peanut gallery about that please.) She is growing very quickly. She is extremely fast now too. Just ask Jeff!! She ran him ragged in the backyard yesterday. He would have to trick her to get a head start and she would still beat him in the race across the backyard.

Jeff is working hard as always. He is still working all the way in Jersey City. He took me out for a nice dinner the other night. We went to a resturant by the house and had some really good Italian food. We also went to our neighbors surprise birthday party....next time you see Jeff ask him about the guy and the garlic dip...I would tell you the story but I wouldn't make you laugh as hard as he would. He has a way of making the story much funnier than I ever could. Bubba was a little party animal that night drinking his juice and trying to suck on the tablecloth. When I wouldn't let him he took of his socks and sucked on those instead. He is really coming into his own personality now and it is just like someone that I know....(and it's not me)!!

HOWDY Y'ALL!!

Wow!! For the first time in days I ate food and didn't get sick. I tell ya I don't think I have ever had a stomache flu like this last one. I will never eat certain foods again...for I fear the flashback. I have flashbacks of calzones (i even remember the smell still) and shrimp from my childhood. Fig Newtons from being pregnant with Bubba. Now I will add lemon pepper chicken, savory herb stove top stuffing and spiral kraft dinners to the list. Yes SPIRAL KRAFT DINNERS!! One of my favorites but...I have a vivid memory of throwing it up so onto the list it goes. I will have to see if I am able to eat any other types of Kraft dinners. I don't know what I will do if I can't have Kraft anymore.

Things are going quiet well up here in stickville. We had snow today and since Jeff and I put out Christmas lights over the weekend they twinkled so nice under the fresh snow. Nico (oh yeh did I forget to mention we got a puppy) enjoyed the snow for the most part. She was slightly confused by it but then realized it was edible and enjoyed licking it up. Of course that caused her to intake liquid and the out put for the day increased. Proud of her today not one piddle in the house. She walks steps now so I open the door and out she walks down the steps to the grass. I was very happy she figured this out cause I sure as heck didn't enjoy standing outside in the cold and dark at 11:00 at night.

Bubba...wow he is going to be 6 months on Wednesday!! We will have to have a party to celebrate. He is all into Elmo these days but I was amazed to see him watching Reading Rainbow today. This makes me beyond happy I am hoping he picks up my love of reading. Jeff always tells me how he loves it that I read all the time and hopes Bubba will take after me. So good sign!!

We put up the Christmas Tree yesterday. U. Bob gave us his tree. It looks great in the living room. Bubba gets intranced by the lights. Jeff has these lights called Bubble Lights. I have never seen lights like this before. The tree at Mom's house always has pretty white lights. Our tree here...well not only do we have colored lights but they chase and they blink and they bubble. At first this was a shock to my system but I think I could really grow used to this.

Oh before I forget.....some people have asked what happened to Milla. Milla has moved to a nice farm. She gets to be an indoor/outdoor kitty. I tried my hardest to help her adjust. She just didn't like Bubba (or anyone really). They could not get along no matter how I tried and then when she kept turning on me I gave in. She is living with Ray on a farm and I am sure she is terrorizing all the cows!! :-)

For those of you who read my last post about my Cousin Danny there has been little to no new news. They recently located what they believe to be his shoes. They were found in seperate locations along the river. Everyday I check the websites to see if there is any new news. He has been missing for exactly a month now. Over the past week reading the articles and posts I have been amazed by how my Cousin Kristen has handled herself. She has basically been the family spokesperson and has helped pass out links so that other people can help get news organizations to do the story. I know that her Grandmother (my Aunt Kay) would be proud of what a strong young woman she has become. We all keep hoping an praying for Danny's return and I keep remembering little memorys here and there like playing pool at Aunt Kays.
www.finddanny.com

A Serious Post

Hello everyone....I know it has been sometime since I have posted on here. I have had a bad cold recently and a touch of a belly problem that is finally resolving itself. I actually ate dinner tonight and only had a slight tummy ache after. I am forever grateful to my wonderful Hubby and Bubba for taking such good care of me.

This morning I woke up before Bubba and I went to the computer to check my email and saw an email from my mom. The RE: Bad News....well I couldn't imagine what it could have been I thought it was something with the Holidays. I really had not a clue what it was but what I found with the attached link made my heart stop for a brief moment. Never in a million years did I think I would see a picture of my Cousin Danny on a missing persons poster. I haven't seen Harry, Joan, Danny, Kristen or Ryan in many many years. More years than I can remember. But for some reason for a small moment it didn't seem like it was that long ago. I instantly remembered an evening at their house on the boardwalk ..we were visiting them and I just remember Danny having one of those Michael Jackson red thriller jackets (you know the one with all the zippers) and dancing. And man can he dance. I remember hearing Aunt Kay talk about how wonderfully him and Kristen dance. As I read the website I kept going his picture for some reason. I know I stared at it for quiet sometime just praying that he is safe and that they will all be reunited soon.

So tonight as I do every night when I put my lil Bubba to bed I give him a kiss and a snuggle...but I tonight he gets a little extra snuggle.

Watership Downs...doesn't sound the best but I will figure out how to make it sound better!!

Daddy & Bubba 

~~My Family~~

Jeffrey....my love, my heart and my best friend. I sometimes think people don't realize who you really are. I am lucky enough to get to see the real you everyday. You are no where close to your public persona. We have grown up a lot over the past two years. I think of us a being two totally different people now. When we first met we both had the mentality of me before you. Now we have the mentality of our family comes before anything. There is no one in the world that I would rather grow old with. We are growing everyday together. You work so hard for your family. You wake at 4:30 in the morning and park your truck in the driveway at 5:00 at night. But you never complains and your face lights up when our son looks at you the moment you walk in the door. You guys play on the floor and it seems that Kody always saves his biggest smile of the day for his Daddy. Mommy is his care giver, his snuggler, comforter and his entertainer but Daddy is his Best Friend and nobody could ever make him think or feel differently. Just to watch the two of you on the floor could melt the coldest of hearts. When Kody goes to sleep and we have a moment to ourselves we can watch a TV show or a movie and not even have to speak we can sit and enjoy a comfortable silence. I have never in my life enjoyed silence until now.

Kody.....you are Mommy's little Bubba. You have such a serious side to you but you also have your mischief side. (Just like your Daddy) You wake me up every morning by sucking your thumb so loud the baby monitor picks it up. Then we move on over into the big boy bed where we snuggle under the warm blankets and plan our day. I remember days when I didn't want to get out of bed now everyday I have every reason in the world to get out of bed. We go on our adventures and we go sight seeing. We plan our days around your poopy diapers. I don't think I ever imagined I would be planning my day around poop. We laugh at your bad smells you make and Mommy has stained many of her shirts cleaning up your spit up so you look nice when we are out and about. But I don't mind. As long as my little Bubba has a smile on his face I don't care what I have to do. I have turned me from being a selfish peron into a selfless person. People sometimes critize how I do certain things but I don't think anyone can say anything about how healthy, happy and beautiful you are. I have grown to just tune peoples opinions out because that is all they are..opinions.

I am proud to say that Jeffrey, Kody and I are a family. I have never been so proud of anything in my entire life. I love you two more than words can express and I thought tonight was a good night to share that with everyone. Love you!!

Feeling Better

Well today is the first day that I actually woke up and didn't feel like my head was going to explode. I am starting to feel much better. I think that has had to of been the worst cold I have had in years. It really knocked me out. But on a positive note Kody didn't get sick...though it seemed he was crankier than usual. I am guessing he is going to be Mr. 2 Tooth soon.

Finally, we have his Christening all set. I was starting to get nervous that it wasn't going to happen. But Jeff spoke to Pastor Bob and they took care of it. (I still think he doesn't like me and no one is going to convince me that he does.) I was talking it over with Kody and telling him about what was going to happen and he said he was cool with it. I think he is really cool with it cause he will get a cake in his honor and everyone will be paying lots of attention to him that day.

Well I think that is all for now...I woke up right after Jeff left for work and I think it is to early for me...going back to bed.

What is up with the white stuff??

Ok picture this...I wake up this morning feeling as though my head is going to explode. My throat hurts, my eyes itch, my nose is running and my ears are driving me nuts. I go into wake up Bubba and what do I see...SNOW!! Yup the white stuff falling from the sky. Bubba thought it was great and he squealed and made all sorts of noises...I just wimpered and turned up the heat. Milla even enjoyed the snow. Her new thing is she likes the outdoors. Which is fine with me. At first I said no way is she going to be an outdoor cat...but I must say she has been much more well behaved these past 2 days than she has been in the last 2 months.

Jeff just called and I am thrilled he is on his way home. Wasn't sure if he was going to come home after the Union meeting but he is. I sleep much better when he is here. He tells me if I didn't read books about Ted Bundy and the Green River Killer I would sleep better when he stays in Jersey. He is probably right but I can't help it..I am addicted to true crime stories.

Well everything is safe and sound on the home front and that is the extent of my day so I will talk to you all soon.

This Coming Weekend....

Well I am very excited to say that this coming weekend my Bestest Buddy Nora is coming up to visit. She is going to be staying from Sunday night till Tuesday. I am so excited to see her. Nora is one of those people who you can't help but have a good time with. She is all excited to come and see her little buddy and play on the floor with all of his toys. Kody always looks at Nora with dreamy eyes. It is a pretty funny sight to see. Of course I know Jeff is going to be happy cause that means fancy dinner on Sunday and I will be out of his hair during the football games and he can play his video games for hours on end without interuption. Kody and I are going to take Nora to all the happening sight like...uuummmm....well I guess we can hit the mall.....or maybe the Super Walmart (Nora is always up for shopping). We were both pleased to find out that there is a Pizza Hut within 10 miles of the house so we will be hitting that for some Cheese Sticks and Cokes with no ice. :-)

First Time For Everything

So I was thinking...I have had the most amazing year of my life. I have a wonderful loving husband who I love completely and loves me completely back, a beautiful son who can melt any heart, and I can say honestly for the first time in my life I am totally truly completely happy. But I have a problem....I don't get to share it with everyone. But that is mostly because of a 14 pounder that goes by the nickname "Bubba". I try to call everyone but it either late at night or mid day (Bubba Naptime) when I get a chance. I know people work and need sleep so I don't call. So I thought to myself..."Self how can I possibly let everyone know how everything is going?" and I answered myself (I have been talking to myself a lot more lately...must be the age thing) "Duh...start a blog." So here we go.......